Lily’s Library
Following the death of my daughter, Lily, on April 19th, 2021, I felt called to use my counseling education to provide critical resources to bereaved parents and families. This calling led to the creation of Lily’s Library—a curated collection of books for those navigating the loss of a baby.
It has been a privilege to bring together my clinical training and lived experience to thoughtfully select these books and care for other parents and siblings navigating the heartache of perinatal loss.
On April 19, 2022, Lily’s Library was donated to the Medical City Dallas Maternal Fetal Institute in honor of Lily’s first birthday and International Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia (CDH) Awareness Day.
Lily’s Library was created by Victoria Renken. As both a counselor with advanced training in perinatal mental health and perinatal palliative care, and as a loss mom herself, Victoria’s whole heart is in this library. Family and friends contributed to the collection, which is made up of books for families who have lost a baby. The library includes books that offer families a way to make memories with their baby before their final goodbye, books to support siblings as they process their grief, and books to support parents as they navigate their grief journey after leaving the hospital.
Lily’s Library continues to be sustained by the Renken family (and friends), with the hope of bringing it to additional hospitals in the future. As of 2024, over 500 books have been donated in support of the ongoing work of Lily’s Library at Medical City Dallas.
“We hope that Lily’s life and legacy will comfort other families who experience an unexpected goodbye, as well as those who know they will say goodbye due to a life-limiting diagnosis.”
Books included in Lily’s Library
Books for Grieving Parents
Getting Grief Right by Patrick O’Malley
Holding on to Love After You’ve Lost a Baby by Gary Chapman and Candy McVicar
Grieving the Child I Never Knew by Katie Wunnenberg
It’s Ok That You’re Not Ok by Megan Devine
How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed by Megan Devine
Welcome to the Grief Club by Janine Kwoh
A Brave Lament by Andrew Bauman
From Father to Father: Letters From Loss Dad to Loss Dad by Emily R Long
I Will Carry You: The Sacred Dance of Grief and Joy by Angie Smith
Shattered: Surviving the Loss of a Child by Gary Roe
Grieving Dads: To the Brink and Back by Kelly Farley and David DiCola
The Unspeakable Loss: How Do You Live After a Child Dies? by Nisha Zenoff
Books to read to Your Baby
Guess How Much I Love You by Sam McBratney
I Love You Through and Through by Bernadette Rossetti Shustak
And if You Can’t by Sydney N Hatcher
I’ve Loved You Since Forever by Hoda Kotb
What Matters Most by Emma Dodd
I Love You All Ways by Marianne Richmond
Wherever You Are: My Love Will Find You by Nancy Tillman
You Are My I Love You by Maryann Cusimano Love
Love You Forever by Robert Munsch
I’ll Love You Forever by Owen Hart
I Love You Just Like This by Sesame Workshop
The Runaway Bunny by Margaret Wise Brown
If Animals Kissed Goodnight by Ann Whitford Paul
You Are My Happy by Hoda Kotb
Books for Grieving Siblings
Learning to Say Goodbye by Cassidy Hitchcock
The Invisible String by Patrice Karst
A Hug From Heaven by Anna Whiston-Donaldson
Tear Soup: A Recipe for Healing After Loss by Pat Schwiebert and Chuck DeKlyen
The Memory Box: A Book About Grief by Joanna Rowland
Perfectly Imperfect Family by Amie Lands
Fly High by Michelle Medlock Adams
You Could Have Been by Ann-Maree Imrie
Additional Recommendations
Resilient Grieving: Finding Strength and Embracing Life After a Loss that Changes Everything by Lucy Hone
Grieving Is Loving: Compassionate Words for Bearing the Unbearable by Dr. Joanne Cacciatore
There was a Baby: A Book for Siblings After a Miscarriage, Stillbirth, or Infant Death by Laura Camerona
Something Very Sad Happened: A Toddler's Guide to Understanding Death by Bonnie Zucker
The Good Mourning: A Kid's Support Guide for Grief and Mourning Death by Seldon Peden II
We Had To Say Goodbye Before We Even Met: A book for children who have lost a sibling through pregnancy or early baby loss by Irene Teague and Grainne Knox
From Mother to Mother: On the Loss of a Child by Emily R Long
You Are Not Alone: Love Letters From Loss Mom to Loss Mom by Emily R Long
Bearing the Unbearable: Love, Loss, and the Heartbreaking Path of Grief by Joanne Cacciatore and Jeffrey Rubin
At a Loss: Finding Your Way After Miscarriage, Stillbirth, or Infant Death by Donna Rothert
The Baby Loss Guide: Practical and compassionate support with a day-by-day resource to navigate the path of grief by Zoë Clark-Coates
Saying Goodbye: A personal story of baby loss and 90 days of support to walk you through grief by Zoë Clark-Coates
Beyond Goodbye: A practical and compassionate guide to surviving grief, with day-by-day resources to navigate a path through loss by Zoë Clark-Coates